


Food!Bros & Harry Potter

by Cindy_Svensson



Series: You annoy me (don't stop). [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:53:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cindy_Svensson/pseuds/Cindy_Svensson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Volstagg and Darcy pig out, and Loki is a Snape fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food!Bros & Harry Potter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leebeloola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leebeloola/gifts).



Proud of her successful rejection of Loki, Darcy slept soundly. When she woke up she bounced out of bed, ignoring the wet spot on the sheets her wet Loki-dreams had created. She might finally be Loki-free dammit, and she wasn’t going to let silly things like horniness get in her way.

She did fear retribution, but more in a “He’s going to cut my hair off like with Sif” way, not in an “A missing person’s report will need to be filled out” way. It was hard to be afraid of him now, after the dancing and the failed vampire seduction (dream!Loki’s attempt had worked much better in her dreams than in real life, but no way she was telling Loki that).

So, status: she would definitely not take any more bullshit but she would also avoid trouble. Lucky her, it seemed like Loki had no intention to talk to her today. He hung around the others for breakfast, lunch, an experiment involving all the scientist and Darcy, watching movies, but without involving himself. 

But just like before, his attention eventually turned to her. His eyes were calculating and it seemed like he sometimes forgot where he was, content just staring at her, his face a mask of, well, of nothing Darcy could read. No matter how uneasy it made her, he just stared. People were starting to notice by dinner that something was going on, asking them what was up.

“He… stole my iPod. That’s what he used when he danced.”

Loki just scoffed and left when people begun laughing.

They didn’t see him for two days. Apparently, even he had a limit for being taunted. But Darcy needed her stuff back, both the iPod and Kindle, and decided on late Saturday afternoon to find him.

Darcy eventually found him in the library, reading on her Kindle. She looked over his shoulder, planning to demand the phone back.

_‘Harry Potter? Book six? He’s been busy. It’s actually kind of cute- No, focus!’_

“Hey, Loki.”

No answer.

_’Fine. I can play that game.’_

“Guess who Snape kills at the end of that book?”

This earned her a withering stare.

Darcy decided to pick her battles. The All-Father’s punishment/protection spell might not extend to protect hair.

“I want my iPod back. And as soon as you’re done with Harry Potter, and not a minute after, I want my Kindle back.”

She decided not to tell him Tony had physical copies of the books just a few feet from where they were standing. He deserved to read it off a small screen. And there was the fear thing.

With a flick if his hand, the iPod appeared in thin air, falling and almost landing on the floor before the assistant could catch it. Deciding not to give him the satisfaction of having her yell at him, she simply stormed off. Dinner was in an hour anyway and she had new songs to download and earplugs to clean.

~ ~ ~ ~

Three days later:

“BUUURPPHH!”  
“Daaarcy!”

“Yes, booorp, Jane?”

“Gross.”

“W-what? You’ve all finished eating. When you’re not stealing food. And we’re funk. Drunk.”

Darcy bounced on her bar stool, full with drunk energy, gazing happily at her new friends ( _And Jane. We’re kinda friendly. Although she’s not new. But hot. Hope I didn’t saaay that out looood. Looouuud.’_ ). Darcy wondered if maybe she should slow down. Naw.

“I have not finished. But I don’t mind.”

Volstagg proved he wasn’t bothered through letting out his own enormous belch that somehow ended on a high feminine note.

This made the rest of the group - Thor, Fandral, Hogun and Lady Sif - erupt in laughter and Jane couldn’t help but giggle a little. She had had four tequila shots after all.

“As long as that is the only end the air is coming from!” Thor bellowed, drawing some attention from the other occupants of the bar, who choose to do nothing. Thor and his friends were well known in the world by now, and not many bars would want to throw out heroes or Gods (or as in this case, heroes that happened to be Gods). Apparently, it would be just as bad for business as throwing out Hollywood celebrities.

After dinner at Stark Tower, which most inhabitants and guests usually attended, Thor had declared the return of the warriors three and Lady Sif needed to be celebrated. Jane wasn’t one against the occasional night out, and Darcy needed a distraction from her thoughts on Loki. And it was Saturday night dammit. She was going to have fun.

Her belly might think she was having too much fun though.

_‘Nothing that can’t be solved by some water.’_

“I will acquire more mead. I’m sorry, beer. Can I bring something back for the ladies?” Fandral’s offer – said with a charming smile of course - came just on time.

“Water please. With lemon in it!”

“Ah, Lady Darcy, do you give up on our adventure so soon?” Volstagg mocked as Fandral left to order.

Volstagg and Darcy had both rejoiced at the bar’s menu with many unheard drinks and food items, both of them deciding to try everything on the menu. They did have salad for dinner after all, something the Asgardians were not very accustomed too (meaning that Volstagg and Darcy barely got to keep their food to themselves, the others being hungry as well).

“Absolutely not! We’re just halfway through. But I’m not sure that green jello stuff was meant for consumption. I’m still convinced it’s some freakish science experiment.”

“Ah, the Lady makes poor excuses.” He took a swig of the drink in question and made a face and noise of disgust, causing bellowing laughter from Thor, soon followed by giggles from the women. Even Hogun smiled.

The banter continued until Fandral returned with a waitress in toe, with lots of snacks and food “on the house” which occupied the entire group and their mouths for quite some time. Darcy suspected Fandral had used his seduction techniques for them to get them to get so much free food, if the waitress’ glances at the man was anything to go after.

All in all, it was a very good night. Even Hogun talked some, even to Darcy, and she was proud to hear him say he’d only seen two other mortals able to keep up with Volstagg other than her. She didn’t mention that was probably because she’d caught Volstagg eat 30 frozen lasagnas after the salad they had for dinner, and Volstagg didn’t mention them either (probably because they were for Loki. And Darcy had a few bites. Ops).

~ ~ ~ ~

Darcy loved her life at times like these, being carried home by a warrior princess (”I’m just a Lady Miss Lewis, no princess.”), singing along with your boss who was being carried by her warrior prince/boyfriend, the Warrior’s Three jesting and laughing a few steps behind.

She’d even managed to steal a kiss from Sif when the Goddess laid the mortal down on her bed. The beautiful woman leaned into the kiss for just a sec before making excuses and leaving. But the Lady left smiling.

_’Yup, still got it._

Darcy laid on her back, contemplating brushing her teeth to get rid of the horrible taste ( _’Oh no, is that why Sif left so soon?’_ ) when a distraught Loki appeared in her doorway.

“The hero died,” he stated, his face implying he was talking about a real person, not a fictional one.

Darcy found it was quite easy to feel for the man; she’d cried so much when she first read how Dumbledore died.  
“It’s okay… Actually, he kind of comes back. But I don’t want to give away the ending. Read the last book, you’ll see.”

“What? No, not the old man. Severus.”

“Snape? You’re _this_ upset Snape died? Okay, he might be the one making the biggest sacrifices, in a way-“

“The book is unreasonable. He would never be so foolish. He served a powerful sorcerer, known for using and punishing his subjects severely; yet he did not have anti-venom against his Master’s pet? Ridiculous.”

Darcy wondered if she should argue with his logic, perhaps defend the author. What if the anti-venom was found? What if the anti-venom poisoned him or turned into a rat? What if the unicorns killed Snape? 

_"Wait, what?… I’m drunker than I think. Thought. Dammit._

Darcy choose not to argue. Her bed was so nice and warm. She didn’t even mind that as Loki continued to ramble about the books, he laid down next to her. They were staring at the star-filled sky hologram thing on her ceiling Darcy had asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to program for her while Loki revealed his ultimate ending of the book for her; Snape would rule the wizarding world, be able to bring back his love Lily and punish his enemies (Darcy objected to bringing Harry’s dad back just to hurt him; “But Lily wouldn’t even want that!” “He’d keep her occupied so she wouldn’t notice.”)

Darcy re-told some good fanfics she had read, and what the author herself had said happened to the characters after the end of the books. Being drunk, she slurred a bit and repeated herself, but Loki didn’t seem to mind, filling the silences with his own thoughts.

Darcy feel asleep first, not noticing the pained glances Loki gave her, as his mind began to be more occupied with the problem of Lady Darcy, the thoughts of the unfulfilling ending no longer distracting him.

What was he to do now, when his focus was once again on this peculiar little being lying next to him, snoring as if she had sand dragons in her throat?

_So close yet so far away, as they say._

Loki battled with himself; dared he hold her or not? Would waking up in his embrace be welcomed or as last time; a nasty surprise? He decided to risk it and pulled Darcy against his chest, spooning her body with his own.

Then he grew angry at himself. He was Loki, a King. He did what he wanted and would not be mocked. And tomorrow, he would remind her of this, all of them. Or the day after that. He had forever after all.

But no matter how dark Loki’s thoughts became, he did not move or shove his lover away.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on prompt by leebeloola: “Also, any chance of him reading harry potter and coming up with what snape should have done so he didn't die (i mean potions master without an anti snake venom or similar is just ridiculous) and possibly even ruled the wizarding world once voldemort was dispatched?”
> 
> And by an anonymous prompt from fuckyeahdarcylewis.tumblr.com: “Darcy & Volstagg = Food!Bros”


End file.
